super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize