the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
