i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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