i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
