I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize