I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
4 words: hood of his car
Welp...herpes.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
