I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Pooping to opera.
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