I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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