Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
