Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
