In America we eat man semen.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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