oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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