u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
