In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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