So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
