Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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