Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize