Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Randomize
