i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
How's work?
Spinning.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
