u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
