She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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