yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
