I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
