Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
