idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
