I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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