I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
