Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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