Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
