I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
