The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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