I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
