Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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