did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
