So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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