can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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