toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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