I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
