He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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