dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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