Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
