i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
