i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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