I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
