Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
We are all done wearing pants today
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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