dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
