His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
