My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
