I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
