We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
