he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
