The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
