I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm too high and old for this...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
