How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So much rum. So many feels.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
