I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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