Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
