The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
