we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
