so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
