would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
