So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
third nipple confirmed
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
