is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We need a shit load of segways right now
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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