Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
