Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
