..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize