So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize