So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
