well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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