I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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