We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
