found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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