i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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