U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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