a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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