i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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