I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
