My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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