Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
