I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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