I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
