She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She's the barista slut.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
