I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
